Fresh Tail . . .

I'm out for a walk in Whittier, Iowa.  Kinda bored (at the in-laws) needed a break.  I see this perfect, fluffy red squirrel having a great day in the sun.  Here comes a big, white Dodge wood hauler.  This stupid squirrel doesn't get out of the way - and flump, bump, squeek - here he is . . . I thought he was dead - but, then his eyes were lookin' at me.  I got him sorta revived - telling him I was gonna make pinstriping brushes out of his tail if he didn't at least try to live.  I'm walking down the street with this (now bleeding) squirrel (now named Harvey) . . . and now I'm gettin' blood all over my favorite pants and gloves.  He took his last breath - a long sigh - and that was it.  No more Harvey.  I felt kinda bad (didn't cry or anything like that) come on dudes . . . so I buried him in the snow (a thicket of corn stalks) at the in-laws front yard.  So. the rest of the story is . . . I go down to the local tiny little store - and the lady starts asking me why I'm carrying this squirrel around town . . . yada yada yada . . . now, I'm like "That Squirrel Guy" . . . in town.  I heard all the funny stuff from them . .  like "I thought you were making squirrel soup tonite" or "Hey, let's throw him in the smoker" . . .
yada yada yada . . . All I keep thinking is . . . poor, stupid Harvey . . .now will be forever remembered on the world wide web of the internet !

7 comments:

pat said...

so you keep the tail??

Noot said...

...on it's way to the brush-factory !

WhitelinePsycho said...

Such a vivid colour compared to the west coast variety, the Squirrel Guy, funny.

Irish Rich said...

You should have just said "Yeah, I'm the Squirrel Guy, why don't you bite my nuts?"

Irish Rich said...

Oh, and I STILL want one of those "I know NOOT" stickers!

TwistyMcFisty said...

Rest In Power Harvey.

H - respectthepanda.com said...

Same thing happened to me with a bird eating too many elder berries. Picked him up and he took his last breath and died. I think I gave him a heart attack. I know the "little sorrow" Noot.