I'm out for a walk in Whittier, Iowa. Kinda bored (at the in-laws) needed a break. I see this perfect, fluffy red squirrel having a great day in the sun. Here comes a big, white Dodge wood hauler. This stupid squirrel doesn't get out of the way - and flump, bump, squeek - here he is . . . I thought he was dead - but, then his eyes were lookin' at me. I got him sorta revived - telling him I was gonna make pinstriping brushes out of his tail if he didn't at least try to live. I'm walking down the street with this (now bleeding) squirrel (now named Harvey) . . . and now I'm gettin' blood all over my favorite pants and gloves. He took his last breath - a long sigh - and that was it. No more Harvey. I felt kinda bad (didn't cry or anything like that) come on dudes . . . so I buried him in the snow (a thicket of corn stalks) at the in-laws front yard. So. the rest of the story is . . . I go down to the local tiny little store - and the lady starts asking me why I'm carrying this squirrel around town . . . yada yada yada . . . now, I'm like "That Squirrel Guy" . . . in town. I heard all the funny stuff from them . . like "I thought you were making squirrel soup tonite" or "Hey, let's throw him in the smoker" . . .
yada yada yada . . . All I keep thinking is . . . poor, stupid Harvey . . .now will be forever remembered on the world wide web of the internet !
7 comments:
so you keep the tail??
...on it's way to the brush-factory !
Such a vivid colour compared to the west coast variety, the Squirrel Guy, funny.
You should have just said "Yeah, I'm the Squirrel Guy, why don't you bite my nuts?"
Oh, and I STILL want one of those "I know NOOT" stickers!
Rest In Power Harvey.
Same thing happened to me with a bird eating too many elder berries. Picked him up and he took his last breath and died. I think I gave him a heart attack. I know the "little sorrow" Noot.
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